


You Fucked My Cousin!

by TheShieldAU



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Coming Out, Eventual Smut, First Dates, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 14:27:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19855093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShieldAU/pseuds/TheShieldAU





	You Fucked My Cousin!

"You actually slept with him?" Dwayne looked at his coffee, decided it wouldn't be enough, and dumped it into the sink. Then he grabbed the whiskey bottle kept in the cupboard and filled his mug with that instead. "Dean, he's straight. He's also my cousin."

"First of all, he's not that straight. Apparently he had a boyfriend at his preppy all boys boarding school. Then he graduated, went to a police academy, and went back in the closet. Apparently, bisexuality isn't very popular amongst the boys in blue. And you never told me your cousin was off limits." Grinning, Dean spread the cream cheese over his bagel.

The whiskey burned as Dwayne downed it, but he immediately refilled his cup.

"What about Seth? Are you really over everything he put you through? I mean, the stalking, being chained to a wall: does any of this ring a bell?"

"That is so a few months ago. Seriously. You act like one crazy scumbag is gonna ruin all of them for me. Clearly you underestimate just how quickly I can bounce back from shit like that."

"I definitely underestimated how much of a slut you are." Dwayne snatched the bagel from Dean's hand and used his teeth to rip a chunk out of it. "Just for the record, I'm telling you now, Roman is _off limits_."

"You might wanna tell him that yourself. He's in the shower." Dean fished another bagel out of the bag and walked over to the toaster.

Dwayne put the mug down and grabbed the bottle and drank straight from it. This could not be happening.

"Wait. You didn't know he was here? You missed his shorts and the black t-shirt on the floor by the bed? Then how the hell did you know we hooked up?" Dean grinned lewdly, but Dwayne looked away from him and to the bedroom door. Now that he was listening for it, he could hear the shower running.

"Please do not talk about hooking up with my cousin. Do not tell me who did what to who or for how long or any of that stuff."

"Can I at least tell you he's loud?" Dean snorted.

He fought the urge to throw the whiskey bottle at his head. It would be a waste of strong booze. Dwayne needed the booze. "What about Paige? I thought he was dating Paige."

"She dumped him. It's why he was drinking at The Speakeasy in Pittsburgh. He probably didn't match her shoes or something." Dean shrugged and grabbed his new bagel when it popped out of the toaster. He tossed it from hand to hand until he reached his plate on the tiny table they used for eating. He plopped it down wiped his hands on his shirt.

"But why you?"

"Why not me? Are you trying to say something?"

"Just that Seth is hot and you're decent at best. I could buy Seth going for you because he was insane and his hair was a tragic wreck, but my cousin is an upstanding guy and you're a garbage human being." Dwayne took another swig from the bottle in his death grip.

Dean scraped the crumbs from the butter knife before using it to scoop out some more cream cheese. "You're calling me garbage when you conspired with a toddler to win back your ex. A gay as fuck toddler at that."

"I never said I was perfect. Also, Sam isn't a toddler. He's, like, eight or something."

"But you agree that he's gay?"

"I've been in his bedroom. He has a life size Elsa doll and he brushes her hair while singing Let It Go from Frozen. He used to walk around in my clothes. Sam is gayer than you, Dean. And Rome is in massive denial about it." Dwayne smiled as he remembered the time Sam told him he couldn't wait to be old enough to wear bras. He loved that kid like he was his own.

Before their conversation could continue, the bathroom door opened. Steam spilled out of the doorway and Roman emerged, damp and glistening and wearing nothing but a towel. Dwayne had to remind himself that they were siblings, pointing his eyes to the ceiling.

"Oh, um. I left my clothes out here. Sorry."

Dwayne heard Roman scramble around the small apartment as he gathered his things, then finally lowered his eyes when he heard the bathroom door close. He sat the bottle on the counter and walked over the Dean, smacking the back of his head.

"Hey!" Dean yelped, even though Dwayne didn't hit him hard enough to actually hurt him. "What was that for?"

"It was for riding my cousin's dick. Or did you forget?"

"Actually, he was the one who..."

Putting his hand over Dean's mouth, Dwayne shook his head. "I told you that I didn't want details." It bothered him that he could feel Dean smiling beneath his fingers.

"So, um, hi." Roman opened the bathroom door, wearing his boxers and t-shirt. He looked as uncomfortable as Dwayne felt. "I couldn't find my shorts."

"They're half under the bed." Dwayne pointed out as he released his grip on Dean's face.

"No need to rush, though!" Dean chimed in as soon as he was able. "We're all adults here. And this can't be as awkward as the time you two almost slept together."

"You told him?" Roman looked ready to gag.

Rolling his eyes, Dwayne put his hands on Dean's shoulders and dug his nails into his shoulders. Not enough to do any damage, just enough to remind him that he could. "He's my best friend, though I'm wondering why that is. How come you never me you're bisexual? I wouldn't judge you for that. But I am judging your taste in men."

"I take offense to that." Dean held a finger, but never stopped watching Roman getting dressed.

"Oh shut up." Dwayne watched his cousin pulling up his shorts. "So, are you two a thing now? Or is this a one-off? Because I need to know how many brain altering drugs I need to consume for this to no longer be weird."

"Umm, I don't know. It's been awhile, and the guys at the station..."

"They can go to hell if they have a problem with my cousin. I took down a psychotic stalker with a gigantic forehead. Some doughnut eating meter maids won't be a problem." Dwayne smiled despite his best efforts. Roman returned it, and he felt Dean's hand on his. Dwayne retracted the claws.

"I think I'd like to try an actual date. Just not at any place associated with the Reigns family. They kinda don't like me." Dean offered with a sincere smile.

Roman looked into Dwayne's eyes and he nodded his approval. Who was he to tell him no? Besides, he was looking forward to telling Paige that her pussy was so trash Roman had to convert to men from the trauma.

"Fine. One date. No chaperones."


End file.
